Heremembered the feeling of terror at seeing the streaking toward him. Whywould anyone stay in front of that ball and risk getting hit? OK, somaybe I didn't need to squeal when I jumped out of the way, but it wasstill a good idea. Those boys are stupid he thought, why would anyoneplay such a stupid game? Ugh, he felt the shame again. No. No. No. Theyare right, I am a dumb sissy girl. As he said it to himself a far-awaytingle shot threw him and he couldn't resist going on. A dumb sissygirl, that's all I am. I shouldn't be playing with them, I should be acheerleader. He repeated the taunts he heard after the game to himself,and the tingling grew. Feeling this was an appropriate penance for hiserror, he pushed a little further, not acknowledging to himself that thewiggly sensation bouncing around in his stomach was driving the selfadmonition and not a desire for penance. A cheerleader, yeah, in mylittle skirt. Cheering on the real boys! In my skirt, my little girlypleated cheerleader. Every time the phone rang or someone knocked at the door, I had to fight to keep from crying. I wasn't always successful. I was afraid for you and helpless to do anything. Now, you are telling me that you're going into danger again. I understand why you need to go and I wouldn't try to stop you if I could. But, if you think I'm going to sit back and do nothing, you're nuts! You have two choices. Book your flights and fly to Beirut. I will meet you there. Or, you can fly with me and have all your equipment with you." But, Mom, there will be people with guns and they'll probably be shooting at us," Cody said plaintively, clearly recognizing that he had lost the argument, based on his experience from past arguments.Cynthia shrugged her shoulders and said, "So, shoot back. By the way, how are you planning on getting weapons in Beirut? I assume that is one of the tools that you'll need. You don't have the contacts to get them in Lebanon and you sure can't carry them with you on commercial.
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